Pure Form
Pure Forms are mutant bastards who pinch people like it was their job. They are the result of a major pwnage back in the hula hoop games. There are three kinds of these guys, much to our chagrin; the big shit Tanks are mutant results of the rancor that love to scoop up poop. They eat the shit and spit it out as popcorn. They used to rule the galaxy, but they were blown apart by the Gruntiness, so the survivors ran and hid on Installation 04. They met the Gravemind there and joined him and his AIDS army to pwn the n00bs. But 2 years later, the purels were joined by the traitor prophet Adolf Hitler who led them. But Hitler betrayed them later and began to kill millions of purels with "THE SPUNK." It seemed the purels were doomed until God appeared and pwnd Hitler. God gave the tankers the power of Zull so they could transform! The Tankers had a really cool time turning into tampons and celebrities and Dr. Phil until they found they could turn into the Ubers. The Ubers Tankers turned into a very annoying Uber called the boner of Corns. They look like weird ass hornets with claws to pinch. They found the ability to hang out on walls and then jump down on the unsuspecting public to jack them up. They like to jack up little girls more than anything, however, and are most often found searching for one. HA I loiter at McDonalds The next transformation could greatly resemble hanging and spitting shit. These Ubers are the Porcupines. When you see them, you'll immediately get pissed off by how many boners these purels get. When it starts chugging out a load of glowing shit at great distances, you'll shiver. We guarantee it. Burrr Their Greatest Moment As the purels grew, the Covenant testicle chins smelled a disturbance in the Force. They sent The Beast to wreck the purels because they lost D-Day against the purels. Squid-faces were sent in to help The Beast too aboard the Phantom Gigolo TBS ''. On planet Lietome, The Beast landed with a stark erection and burned the purels with a yeast infection. The Elites were pwned by the Ubers who were using tractors on crack to turn the Elites into neatly chopped steak for a mighty feast. Then the bell rang, and after slaughtering some porn stars, they went back to fighting in the boner of doom. The Beast found itself against a mighty force of Ubers. God was with them! The biggest battle in Lietome history began and ended with several hundred Ubers dead and The Beast with a broken leg. He fled for the floating yarn. The purels flipped the testicle chins off, kicked them in the balls, and were now ready to own the Earth. 5 Minute Useless Battle A year later the AIDS had turned the covie cruiser ''Unplanned Parenthood into a big as hell shit and headed to Earth so the Ubers could stop the testicle chins from doing the hula hoops. They arrived late cause Gravemind took so much time ordering at Orbit King. The covies left Africa already in a big anus in the sky. Because of their bad grade in drivers ed the purels crashed Unplanned Parenthood into the city of Voi. Fearing a terrorist attack, the muster beef led a troop of n00bs to the crash site and were pwnd by the Ubers and AIDS. With this embarassment the muster beef and Arbiturd counterattacked with the 27 panzer division. The two of them led the tanks on two white horses and kicked down the AIDS ship's door. The family inside were pissed. They died later. Arbiturd stayed behind to be a knave leaving the MC to sweep the ship for the computewhore. The Ubers failed this battle when a nuke from some unnamed place went off in Voi that blew up Kenya. It all lasted 5 minutes and was recorded in a pamphlet for people wondering why a whole country was now gone. After the Hula Hoop When the halo fired at the flying tulip(aka hula hoop maker) the Ubers found nothing was left. The other AIDS died and the Ubers were punished by the sparkplugs(Sentinels). Only 100 Ubers were sentenced to life working in the flying tulip's fart mines, the rest executed by watching 2 girls, 1 cup over and over again untill they had a stroke by the sight of Cortana getting breast implants between Halo 2 and Halo 3. As for the 100 purels in the mines, they escaped. The covie carrier Deja Vu smashed into the mines and a rogue Uber came out. He was the same dude who crashed the Unplanned Parenthood into Voi. He looked at his ship and yelled," My wife cut my brake fluid! She wants to kill me". Instead he was killed by a passing sparkplug.